


Much Better Than This

by angelus2hot



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Character Death, Episode Related, F/M, Het
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-26
Updated: 2011-08-26
Packaged: 2017-10-23 02:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelus2hot/pseuds/angelus2hot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during the season two episode Becoming</p>
            </blockquote>





	Much Better Than This

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Much Better Than This  
>  **Fandom:** Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
>  **Rating:** PG-13(character death)  
>  **Word Count:** 1625  
>  **Prompt:** Supposing Buffy never had the strength to send Angel to Acathla?  
>  **Characters/Pairing:** Angel/Buffy  
>  **Summary:** Set during the season two episode Becoming  
>  **A/N:** written for [Four Horseman Challenge](http://writers-toybox.livejournal.com/19772.html) at writers_toybox

The fight with Angelus was vicious with neither giving the other any quarter. Blade pounded against blade. For a while it even looked as if he would come out victorious but Buffy began to rally. Finally, she was able to get Angelus on his knees before her. And even though pain ripped through her at the thought, she knew she was going to win. If killing the man she loved could be considered winning. As she drew back her sword, he cried out in pain. His eyes glowed with a bright light before he collapsed to the floor.

 

Angel pulled himself up to stand on shaky legs. "Buffy, what's going on? I don't remember anything. Where are we?" Unable to help himself, he pulled her into his arms. "God, I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months."

Buffy's breath caught in her throat as tears shimmered in her eyes. _Angel?_ She slowly wrapped her arms around him, lowered her head and cried. _This wasn't the way it should have happened. Why couldn't the spell have worked sooner or not at all?_

Directly behind Angel a swirling vortex into Hell began to open. She knew she only had moments before it would be too late.

Sadly, she brushed her fingertips over his lips, across his cheek. This was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She would give anything... anything at all for some other way but she didn't have a choice. She had to kill Angel.

She softly kissed his lips before she gently pushed her tongue deeper into his mouth. Even as her body soared with delight at being in Angel's arms once again, tears streamed down her face. She clung to him as every fiber of her being screamed in agony at what she must do.

Her heart broke as she leaned back and whispered softly, "I love you."

"I love you." He repeated her words.

Her hands trembled as she touched his lips once more. "Close your eyes."

As his eyes closed, she gently kissed him once more. Without another word she stepped back and raised her sword; but just before it would have sank deep into his chest she screamed, "No!" and quickly threw it away.

Angel opened his eyes and stared at the woman he loved. Stark terror and unimaginable agony were written across her face for him to see. _What the hell? They were together. Shouldn't she be happy?_ "What is it, Buffy? What's wrong?"

"I can't do it, Angel. I just can't." Tears slid down her cheeks as she shook her head.

"What? What can't you do?" She was the slayer and the love of his life. There was nothing she couldn't do.

Buffy began to cry harder, her tears fell faster down her face. "I can't." She mumbled over and over as she stared at a point right behind him.

With a deep sense of foreboding Angel turned to see what had his Buffy so petrified. Acathla! _Son of a bitch!_ Somehow a vortex to Hell had been opened. And he had an awful suspicion he was the one responsible.

As he stared, the vortex grew bigger and glowed a darker red with each moment that passed. He had to understand what had happened and he needed it right now. Angel turned towards Buffy. "How did this happen?"

Buffy continued to shake her head from side to side as she muttered, "I can't kill you. I won't!"

 _Kill him?_ Then he was right. He was the one responsible for awakening Acathla. He knew that was the only reason Buffy would ever entertain the idea of killing him. "Angelus was loose wasn't he?"

She wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers. "Yes, I tried... we all tried. But it's too late."

That was the point they were at now, but he was missing a vital part. He needed the back story. "Buffy?"

"It's been months since we.... uh.." She blushed to the roots of her hair. Even though there was no one else around she leaned closer to whisper, "You know." At Angel's nod she continued, "Angelus was released because of what.. what I did."

Angel couldn't help but interrupt. There was no way he was going to let her take the blame for what they did. "We made love, Buffy. Both of us together. No one is to blame." _Angelus had been loose in Sunnydale for months?_ A horrific thought occurred to him. "Did I... was anyone...?" He couldn't bring himself to finish the question.

Buffy nodded her head. "Angelus was true to form." She didn't want to go into any further detail.

"No one that you..."

She quickly interrupted. "Miss Calendar was..."

Angel opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything Buffy continued. "It wasn't you, it was Angelus. No one blames you."

Angel stared at her unblinkingly until a small smile curled his lips at the blatant lie.

A sheepish grin spread across her face. "Okay, Giles is a little... And Xander. But you know how he is."

Sadness almost overwhelmed Angel as he nodded his head. He did indeed know how the boy was. But apparently Xander had been right. He really was a monster. He glanced back over his shoulder. The vortex was swirling faster, growing bigger. "I awakened Acathla, didn't I?"

"No. You're not responsible for what Angelus did."

"Buffy." He couldn't afford to split hairs. "It was me."

"Yes."

The one word sealed his fate. He couldn't let Buffy or the rest of the world go to Hell because of Angelus. Tears trembled in his eyes as he slowly turned to face the woman he loved. "You have to kill me, Buffy."

"What?" She shook her head furiously. Of all the things he could have said she wasn't expecting that. But she should have known. Angel was a champion after all.

He grasped her hands in his own and pulled her closer to him. "You have to kill me, Buffy." He repeated softly.

With the strength of a hundred slayers behind her, Buffy jerked angrily out of his grasp and walked to the other side of the room. "No! I won't kill you! I won't!"

"Listen to me, Buffy. We don't have much time. Acathla is going to swallow the world. Every human being will live eternal damnation in a place even most demons are scared of."

"I don't care. I can't loose you."

Angel ignored what she had said. He knew she was only talking out of pain and anger. "Don't you see, Buffy? You already have. By awakening Acathla I've set things into motion that can't be stopped without my blood. If I don't die then you, me, the whole world goes to Hell. And I mean that literally. Do you think we could be together then? Do you think it would be allowed? Come out of the fantasy, Buffy. It will be full of blood, pain and torture. There's no room for happiness there." He knew he was being harsh but he had to get through to her. They didn't have much time.

"Angel, I...."

"You have to, Buffy. We don't have a choice."

More tears ran down her cheeks as his words finally began to sink in. The one thing she didn't want to do was the one thing she had to do in order to save the world. Her voice was small, a little girl lost as she began to speak. "I don't think I can."

Angel leaned down, picked her sword up from the floor and began to walk towards her. "Yes, you can, Buffy. If you love me...?" He swallowed hard before he continued, "You're the slayer, the love of my life. There is nothing you can't do." He voiced his thoughts from earlier."

She hated this, hated that she had to destroy the one good thing in her life. But he was right, she didn't have a choice. Her heart ached as she took the sword from him. Her lips began to tremble as she whispered, "I could have loved you much better than this."

Tears welled in Angel's eyes. "Not in all of my time on earth has anyone ever loved me the way you do. No one ever could. Don't ever doubt that."

With one last lingering kiss, Angel stepped back, placed his hands over Buffy's, raised her sword hand and pointed it at his chest. "I love you." He whispered just as he gave an inhuman pull and made her thrust the sword deep into his body. With the last of his strength he pushed her away as the vortex swallowed him.

 

Wordlessly, Buffy stared at the spot where minutes before Angel had stood but now only emptiness remained. She bit her lip to keep from screaming in agony. Only two thoughts kept running through her mind, _How was she supposed to live without him? And why would she want to?_

As the slayer she knew pain on an intimate basis, she thought she could handle it. But nothing could have prepared her for the agony coursing through her body. With a whimper, she sank to the floor, drew her legs up and rested her head on her knees. Life without Angel would be unbearable. But that wasn't the worst part, she knew where he was and what was happening to him. She couldn't stand the thought of him suffering in Hell because she didn't have the strength or the know how to save him. "I'll get you back, Angel. I promise."

With fiery determination blazing in her eyes she slowly stood and began to walk out the door. Somehow, someway, no matter how long it took, she would bring him back.


End file.
